I swear this time I mean it

May

Teacher: Why did you not study?

Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday.

This post has 63,137 notes.

May

wkmcdada:

Always Honor, Never Forget.

(Source: militarymom, via icouldbeyourbatman)

This post has 1,883 notes.

May

breastnest:

someday i will buy a pickle that is 6 feet 4 inches tall and i will step inside of it and call my friend and say “hey can you come help me im kind of in a pickle”

(via icouldbeyourbatman)

This post has 8,761 notes.

May

fonmasterguard:

So no one at my friend’s old high school is allowed to dress up for halloween anymore because one year this kid came to school on a bike wearing a red jumpsuit with tampons taped to him. He rode around the school telling people he was the menstrual cycle

(via icouldbeyourbatman)

This post has 13,695 notes.

May

injackwetrust:

marmalade-chainsaw:

more like listening to the couch omg

*stairs

(Source: gorgossium, via icouldbeyourbatman)

This post has 8,048 notes.